Can’t Knock Me Down

I’m back! And I’m so glad to be here. These past couple of months have been some of the most stressful, busiest and miserable, that I hadn’t dedicated as much time to writing as I’d like to.

Since the events surrounding my exam, it felt like for a while I couldn’t come back from it. After about a couple of weeks of feeling rotten and self pity, I realised that I had to get back on track if I had any chance of passing the exam next time.

The hardest thing for me was critiquing myself. Not only this but I also had to work on my confidence… this was seriously knocked off (more so). I tried to think about how should I go about this and then did what most people do when they’re stuck-go on YouTube.

I remember literally youtubing “how to be confident TED lecture” hoping there was something there I could learn from…and low and behold there was!

This video became part of my morning routine every day for two months. I had to keep reminding myself of this gold dust knowledge and whenever my confidence was affected at work (which did happen)…I’d keep this on.

I’d get emails from the deanery which almost felt like they were sending their condolences for my failure. It was heart breaking and non of which instilled any confidence in me. There was some talk about the deanery getting more involved to help me pass, as they’ve done with other trainees, but this never happened. I wasn’t expecting any miracles from them, infact the opposite…and this was nicely demonstrated by a harsh email I was cc’d in from the deanery.

Ironically on the day I got this email, I was introduced to the works of author and entrepreneur Seth Godin and what he said really struck a cord with me…

Don’t wait to be rescued, no one’s coming. 

I realised I was playing the victim. I was called “fragile” and though that might have been true, I hated being called that. That wasn’t the me I knew from university and that wasn’t going to be the me now either. I had to be the hero of my own story, I had to be a survivor.

I read the book the above YouTube video was based on. I also bought the wristband which the video talks about and wore it to work every single day (and still do). If I felt rubbish and lost focus, I looked at my band “my self affirmation” as Dr Joseph calls it and kept going. I persisted at work and studied at home. I almost isolated myself from the others, keeping myself to myself and my head down.

Over the past few weeks my trainer had dropped me for another trainee to help his needs. I tried not to let it bother me too much. Plus, I had better things to focus on. To a certain extent, it may have worked out for me.

It was this alternative trainer I was assigned to that introduced me into the world of “Mindfulness” i.e how to be in the moment and not lose focus.

I was introduced to this video three days before the day of my exam. It could have well saved me. I did this meditation on the morning of my exam and it made me look at the whole experience completely differently-instead of getting nervous I was calm. Instead of worrying what could happen I was quite excited about what could potentially happen instead. I pictured myself passing the exam and being a winner (like Arnie or Tony Robbins), not worrying about any consequences. I reframed the situation entirely.

Thankfully all these tips paid off and I passed my exam. So yes this week has been a good one, after so many awful ones. But I didn’t write this to brag. Far from it. It was to collate everything I learnt over the past couple of months and to share with you things which you may wish to benefit from too…especially if you’ve ever been knocked down.

Just some songs which I think people can relate too…I’ve been a little out of date with my songs of the month, so I’ve made up for it with two of my faves instead

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Life is a Movie

This weekend was a good weekend. I think everyone needs one of those weekends… you know the sort where you don’t set an alarm, then get up late and are happy that you did.

When I did wake up, eventually, I decided to drive to the city centre. There were some errands that we needed to do and we still hadn’t seen Wonder Woman! Despite having left the house at almost 2pm, the city was still buzzing and it was a very sunny day!

On the Friday, I watched the British movie ‘A Street Cat Named Bob’…the true story of a homeless man, who was literally saved by a stray cat.

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Isn’t Bob the cutest?!

Having previously done a 10k marathon to raise money for the homeless shelter, there is now a part of me who will try and give more money than I previously did, to a homeless person I see. Whilst we were in the city, I saw a homeless man on the floor with an empty paper cup in his hand. The movie I had seen the day before came straight to my mind, his story and his troubles. He even looked like the man in the movie. He was miserable and had a sweaty forehead (it was a hot day). I fished out a £5 note and gave it to him.

‘Are you sure?’ His face completely changed.

‘Yeah, get some food it’s past lunch time’. I said.

He thanked me and we carried on. I turned around and I saw him run into Subway.

Having completed our errands, we stopped for a coffee and later headed off to see Wonder Woman.

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I thought my ‘flat white’ coffee looked pretty, so I took a picture

This movie was better than I thought and by far my favourite DC movie to date. The characters, the scenery, the story line, even the music which is definitive of Wonder Woman, all absolutely amazing. It encompasses a central theme which I adore-the importance of leadership. 

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From one of my many favourite scenes. It’s not about what you deserve.  It’s what you believe.’

Even after I returned home, I was still in that movie mood. I ended the day by going on Youtube (as you do) and watching clip after clip, of classic movies and new favourites. I wanted to end this post by sharing with you two of my favourite Disney movie openings, in the order I first watched them as a child. I hadn’t seen them in a VERY long time and yet I still get the chills. I think they are both so grand, magnificent and unforgettable. I still wish they did movies like these. Moana has now become my new favourite movie of the 21st century and one I am super excited about. I loved it that much that I went to the cinema twice just to watch it, but that’s for another post, another time!

The Hunchback of Notre Dame

The Prince of Egypt

Uganda Healthcare Expedition Part IV

After a fun couple of days of vegetarian home cooking (burgers and lasagne!), I had a few days off work and so set off to London. I was a little lazy at home but at the same time, hung out in the high street and enjoyed the summer sales!

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The view from the top floor of the bus, the best seat in my opinion!

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My sales items, totaling £62.75

It was also a good opportunity to meet up with a family friend, one who I’ve known for almost 25 years.

It was on the day that I met up with her, that I had an appointment with the dental hygienist in the morning. Just a typical appointment which I had booked the day before…or was it?

Everything was going pretty normal. My teeth were being inspected and the dental hygienist was doing a ‘deep clean’ on them, when his phone rang and he answered accordingly.

‘Oh I’m very sorry but I had to take the phone call’

‘That’s ok’ I replied.

‘Yeah it’s from Uganda’

‘Oh really?’

It was at this point that my voice changed to one of excitement. Of course I let him finish off the session, and then we talked about all-things-Uganda. We spoke about my trip there last year, his origins there and what we were both hoping to do. I told him about what I was setting up and interestingly, he told me about his plans to improve the dental hygiene there. We exchanged contact details and I left soon after. The very next day, I received an email from him.

He alerted me of the Uganda-UK Investment Convention which is scheduled for this year. I don’t know if I would have even be aware of it, if it wasn’t for the dental hygienist! Did I sign up for it? Well of course I did. I considered it a sign that he was there! Interestingly, I was contacted by two key organisations soon after-The Ministry of Health in Uganda that day, and the RCOG the next day.

So yes, things are still going. My next steps are:

  • Look into fundraising and obtaining the medical equipment.
  • Once this is done, we can set up the services for the cervical cancer screening programme and look into keeping it sustainable.
  • Make plans to go to Uganda towards the beginning of next year.

I wanted to end this post by sharing a Youtube link, because of the impact it has on me every time I watch it. I find it very inspirational, focusing the importance of creating change and making a difference in people’s lives. This is what I want to do.

Gary Vaynerchuk in Ghana, a country I have been to previously and love dearly. The ending of this vlog almost always gets to me. I hope you enjoy it as much as I did 🙂

You’ve got a Friend in Me

What’s the first thing you think of when you read this title? The obvious theme I suspect would be friendship.

What else? Randy Newman? Toy Story?

That’s right…the first thing I think of when I listen to this song is Toy Story.

I always loved the Toy Story Franchise, but today was the day I fell in love with it even more so. This was because today, I stumbled upon some hidden truths.

For those of you who love Toy Story as much as I do, and can spare 17 minutes of your time, I urge you to watch this Youtube clip I came across. I wouldn’t post this unless I truly believed it was important…seriously.

I promise YOU WON’T REGRET IT.

Only recently have we come to find out, the secret which was once revealed by Pixar’s Head Writer Joe Ranft to his friend Mike Mozart. 

It’s hard to believe that the same makers of Toy Story 3 probably didn’t even know anything about this hidden gem of a story, otherwise I doubt that it would have been made in quite the same way.