If it makes you happy 

This training year is coming to an end. But I’ve forgotten how to relax, how to be happy. With the loom of exams finally over, I still think that something will crop up. If I’m occupied with something, then I usually don’t think about it. But if I’m not, or even during any “myself moments”, my mind starts to wonder. 

It particularly dawned upon me when someone told me that if I didn’t know how to be happy now, then I never will be. I realised that I needed to remind myself how to be ok again, how to stop overthinking and how to let go.

Now it’s usually train journeys that I get quite reflective on. But when I came back to London this time, it was on the underground that I was listening to this song. It was one I hadn’t heard in a long time, until the day of my resit exam. It was playing in the hotel as I was getting ready to check out, where I stayed there the night before my exam. So as I listened to this song it wasn’t just that event that was playing in my head, but also the thoughts I was realising about me. I listened to the lyrics (probably more intently than normal, against the background tube noises), and for some reason one tear came to my right eye. It really shocked me but I shook it off before anyone noticed. I realised there that I had to change.

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Flambé time

Just to take a little twist on things for a bit, I decided to write about a dish we tried at home, towards the end of last year. Its one by the legendary Julia Child called Crepes Suzette…definitely worth trying. In the kitchen was me, my boyfriend and Mrs Whiskers.IMG_20171125_155357

 ‘What are we making today?’

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‘I’ll just make myself comfy over here’

You’ll need the following ingredients for 12 crepes:

For the batter:

  • 1 cup flour
  • 2/3 cup water
  • 2/3 cup milk
  • 1/4 teaspoon salt
  • 3 tablespoons melted unsalted butter
  • 3 large eggs

For the orange butter:

  • The zest of two oranges
  • 1/2 cup granulated sugar
  • 1/2 pound unsalted butter
  • 3 tablespoons orange liqueur (we used Grand Marnier)
  • 1/2 cup orange juice

For the Flambé:

  • 1 tablespoon of granulated sugar
  • 1/4 cup orange liqueur
  • 1/4 cup cognac (we used Courvoisier)

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‘Well this looks rather interesting!’

Whilst the butter is melting, mix the flour, water and milk with a whisk. Once melted, add the butter to the mixture, followed by a pinch of salt and three whole large eggs. Mix well.

It should look a little something like this. Allow this to rest so the flour absorbs the moisture. We kept it in the fridge for at least 10 minutes.

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Brush a thin layer of sunflower oil onto your non stick pan.

Then begin making your crepes! It’s really up to you how thick or thin you want them to be, but it helps to swirl the pan to keep the crepes even throughout. Wait for about a minute until the bottom is just brown and then flip it over, to brown the other side for roughly 30 seconds.

Once you’ve made the crepes keep them to one side. Its now time to make the orange butter…

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Add the zest of two oranges to 1/2 cup of granulated sugar. Blitz for one minute. Once done, add 1/2 pound of unsalted butter and continue blitzing.

I like fancy bottles 🙂 Add three tablespoons of the orange liqueur followed by 1/2 cup of orange juice to the mixture. And yes…just keep blitzing.

And that’s your orange butter done! Now we’re coming onto the final stage…The Flambé!

Add your orange butter to a hot pan and allow it to boil down, almost caramalising it into a syrup. This should take about 5 minutes.

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Next, bathe and baste your crepes in the orange butter. You should be able to fit about 12 in the same pan by folding them into triangles (i.e. half then half again). JC calls them ‘wedges’. Sprinkle on one tablespoon of sugar, followed by a 1/4 cup of more orange liqueur…followed by a 1/4 cup of cognac!

We’re up to the final cooking stage now! Be very careful to light the cognac…I clearly wasn’t brave enough to do this.

 

Almost done I promise! I’m sure you’ll agree with me when I say that no dessert would be complete without its cocktail.  This is called ‘Midnight in Paris’.

Add 25ml of the cognac (I wasn’t kidding when I said I liked fancy bottles) to ginger beer (however much you want really).  Add an orange piece and that’s it!

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A refreshing assortment of drinks 🙂

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Et voila! As always, I hope you enjoy making this delicious dish, as much as you will enjoy eating it 🙂

The World Ain’t All Sunshine and Rainbows

This is quite a hard post for me to write. But I figured that if I did, I could overcome what has been an awful past few days- and just maybe put things into perspective.

The reason why I hadn’t blogged for quite some time was that I was hitting the books hard with a membership exam coming up. Books, study, practice and the like… Unfortunately it hadn’t paid off this time, and I failed.

Utterly gutted by a few marks off I was devastated and still am. The results came out on the Monday evening and once I found out,  I was terrified to go into work the next day. I wondered what people thought of me. Word had got around but everybody was very supportive. Having said that, as soon as someone came up to me to give me a rub in the back, arm around the shoulder or a holding of the hand, I’d wait until they left the room, only to burst into tears. I’d let down everybody’s expectations and in the one few times I tried to believe in myself, my faith was shattered.

Yes this may sound like an overexaggeration of things, but it’s just how I’ve felt and I know it’ll hopefully pass. I know I’ve done harder exams during medical school under much different circumstances-I was 18, I was in another country and I was at the risk of being kicked out (there were 90 medical students in the first year, 23 of us graduated). My family needed to remind me of this, and that it really isn’t the end of the world.

My boyfriend mentioned ‘We said that one day we’ll look back at medical school and laugh about it. One day we’ll look back at this exam and also laugh about this’. Are there times when I don’t do anything and my mind wonders back to this failure? Sure. But maybe everybody does that.

The thought of what others think about me runs in my mind still (so says the person who’s blogging about her failure). Helpful quotes have however, tried to keep me going.

Do your best, forget the rest –Tony Horton

Don’t care what the others (trainees) think, just give the world the finger-My trainer

This is a skill I still need to work on, not giving a da** of what the others think.

I don’t know why else I decided to share this really. It was probably just to put it all down in writing, and one day be a distant memory. Plus, I’m kinda used to blogging about the not so great side of life too…remember the burglary?

Every morning this week I’ve woken up with the thought-‘I failed’. Now that I’ll have to get back to it again, when my heart sinks (which I’m sure it will do many a time)…I will try and remember this:

I love Rocky 🙂

Song Of The Month

I thought long and hard about my song of the month, especially as it was the first one of the year 🙂

I found myself reflecting from the events of this week, both at home and at work. Coming back into the work environment did expose my vulnerability quite early on. However, having confided in the right people, I was reminded that it was ok.

I have also been following clinical psychologist Jordan Peterson, based at the University of Toronto. Having recently watched some of his YouTube videos, I came across this quotation from him which I wanted to share. I think it’s one which can apply to anybody, if they choose accept it.

“To love someone is to simultaneously accept their vulnerability, as a valid part of their being. Without this, there is no possibility of individual existence.”

Though I am not a Slipknot fan nor a total Stone Sour fan, this song by Corey Taylor has to be my favourite song right now. It’s touching and beautiful- and as always, I hope you enjoy this song as much as I do 🙂

Across The Track Blues

As I head back to Leeds, I wonder why it is that this trip back home was somewhat different to my previous trips back. For one thing it was certainly much longer than I would normally go home for (one week for me is a long time to be off!). I wanted to relax at home again and catch up with family and friends again. 

I definitely got the opportunity to recuperate from the work life and get back to my roots-(namely home cooked good eats!). However I didn’t really get the chance to catch up with many friends or cousins as I would do normally. Be it due to exams or being abroad, all completely understandable…but it made me realise how important they can be to have around, and I kinda felt it! I was missing Leeds terribly and for the first time in a long time, I realised that I may have more friends up in the North! 

Today is the day I headed back to Leeds. As I tidied up my room literally before leaving, I came across a little interesting-looking (and rusty!) item of some sort. It was something my mum actually found but she didn’t really know where it came from…and neither did I! The only thing I can tell you is that it has my writing all over it… 


“Amma” means mum 🙂 I had to look this quote up and realised that this was one from Mother Theresa! Knowing my mum she’s kept this safe.

Now onto the present moment…I write this piece as I head back to Leeds on the train. As I have done for many of my previous posts, it gives me good head space! Unfortunately today is the day for apparent scheduled strike action, so my standard 2 hour journey has been bumped up to 3 :(. This would be my first time in a while that I’ve needed to stand in a train! 

As I stand against the shut door between the two carriages, I’m closely followed by fellow passengers also unable to get a seat…this was going to be a packed journey which we just had to accept. As the train finally heads off, I try to think how I could possibly make this journey an enjoyable one. Well the number one thing on my list, and probably for most other travelers is the obvious…good music!

Yes I have still been feeling in the epic mood with the music of Thomas Bergersen. 

As I look out of the window and listen to this music, I feel an overwhelming sense of joy and power, from what though I don’t really know! I can only put it down to the music and the beautiful views outside, rushing fast against me…just taking it all in.

Half an hour into the journey and the train starts to get more bumpy. As it now starts to move against trains in the opposite direction, I am consequently almost falling over many a time! I decide that I can’t possibly stand for three hours without the risk of actually landing on the floor…I look around and see how full the train is. Every space is filled with a person. 

Knowing full well that there is no chance that I’ll be moving from this spot, I decide to do the one thing the others haven’t dared do yet… sit on the floor. And low and behold not five minutes later, and I am closely followed by my fellow standers, who decide to sit on the floor with me! 

It’s actually lovely to see now how everyone is looking a little bit more comfortable-some reading, some snoozing and some chatting to others close by, including myself. When you’re surrounded by so many people for a long time it’s almost weird not to talk to them…at least that’s what I think :p No I don’t think any of it is due to my one act of resting my legs, but I don’t like to conform, and it sounds likes I’m not the only one 🙂


Dark shadows, messy hair-but still in one piece!

Welcome To The 30s

It was this weekend that I turned 30. For a good couple of weeks I was nervous that this day would come. But when it actually did, I wished that it lasted longer. I learnt that there is no difference in having a shower at 29 than having one at 30. The important thing is to carry on making the most of the life you have. What else can you do?

I’m not narcissistic, these were just the photos we ended up taking! It’s just something I can always look back on 🙂 

Uganda Healthcare Expedition Part IV

After a fun couple of days of vegetarian home cooking (burgers and lasagne!), I had a few days off work and so set off to London. I was a little lazy at home but at the same time, hung out in the high street and enjoyed the summer sales!

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The view from the top floor of the bus, the best seat in my opinion!

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My sales items, totaling £62.75

It was also a good opportunity to meet up with a family friend, one who I’ve known for almost 25 years.

It was on the day that I met up with her, that I had an appointment with the dental hygienist in the morning. Just a typical appointment which I had booked the day before…or was it?

Everything was going pretty normal. My teeth were being inspected and the dental hygienist was doing a ‘deep clean’ on them, when his phone rang and he answered accordingly.

‘Oh I’m very sorry but I had to take the phone call’

‘That’s ok’ I replied.

‘Yeah it’s from Uganda’

‘Oh really?’

It was at this point that my voice changed to one of excitement. Of course I let him finish off the session, and then we talked about all-things-Uganda. We spoke about my trip there last year, his origins there and what we were both hoping to do. I told him about what I was setting up and interestingly, he told me about his plans to improve the dental hygiene there. We exchanged contact details and I left soon after. The very next day, I received an email from him.

He alerted me of the Uganda-UK Investment Convention which is scheduled for this year. I don’t know if I would have even be aware of it, if it wasn’t for the dental hygienist! Did I sign up for it? Well of course I did. I considered it a sign that he was there! Interestingly, I was contacted by two key organisations soon after-The Ministry of Health in Uganda that day, and the RCOG the next day.

So yes, things are still going. My next steps are:

  • Look into fundraising and obtaining the medical equipment.
  • Once this is done, we can set up the services for the cervical cancer screening programme and look into keeping it sustainable.
  • Make plans to go to Uganda towards the beginning of next year.

I wanted to end this post by sharing a Youtube link, because of the impact it has on me every time I watch it. I find it very inspirational, focusing the importance of creating change and making a difference in people’s lives. This is what I want to do.

Gary Vaynerchuk in Ghana, a country I have been to previously and love dearly. The ending of this vlog almost always gets to me. I hope you enjoy it as much as I did 🙂