About Chitra's Blog

- Doctor - Global health enthusiast - Studio Ghibli fanatic

Piping Hot

So it hadn’t been the greatest start to the week. Not particularly because of what happened, but rather that it opened up to some unfortunate realisations.

It all started on the Monday morning. I woke up and did my usual routine. It was when I walked into the living room, that I stumbled upon a freakin’ leaking ceiling!

We switched off the heater and hot water supply, and called our handyman. The problem was that we didn’t know exactly what time he was coming, so realised that someone would either need to wait until he came (in the morning) or come home in the evening. Having rung up work to let them know of the situation, I was advised to come in and carry on as best I can, and then leave if I have to. I thought that was reasonable, and didn’t expect much more.

I carried on with work as normal, with the exception of awful dread that our roof could collapse at any moment. Having spoken to our handyman, I managed to get an estimate of roughly what time he would come. Though it was an awkward time (half way during my afternoon surgery) it wasn’t anything I could change. I updated work but I could tell they were annoyed. I felt completely helpless.

It was around this point that I started to feel the pressure (more so). It was when I was asked to go home, let the handyman in, and then actually come back to work. I think for a brief few seconds I was confused. But at the same time I didn’t want to make matters worse…so I agreed. 

I thought that maybe it was normal to let a stranger into the house and I was just being paranoid…but then again maybe not! Numerous people were entering my room just, many a time saying:

“So you’re coming back right?”

I just nodded.

My time was coming up and having updated my colleagues, I left work and came home to let the handyman in. It was about half an hour when I returned to work, and my colleagues had seen a couple of my patients.

I had two left to see. This was all I had to do, and then I could come home for good and see what was actually happening at home.

It was almost coming up to closing time when I was finishing off with the last patient. There was a knock on my door, followed by another one soon after. I was told that we had to leave. Once the patient left I was gathering my things, when I was approached by a colleague…

“So why were you running late today?”

I wanted to explode. I was fuming inside. Are you for real?!!!

I didn’t want to shout back but I didn’t want to be a pushover either. I found my voice coming and my tone changing, to one of utter disgust…

Do you not know what happened? I left??

Oh yeah I know but….

But ….? You don’t know what happened. (One needed admitting).

And then they were quiet. 

I realised there was no point in wasting my energy in defence. It would never be understood. I don’t quite know what they were saying towards the end, as I was too angry to care and just wanted call it quits. Once I got home my mind was a bit more at peace.

After the handyman left, I sat on the landing floor leaning against the wall, staring at our boiler. I reflected on everything that happened that day. In the end it was just a leaking pipe which caused some damage to the ceiling. That was it. So why did I let it affect me? 

I was not expecting pity or anything like that. But I realised that in the end, all I hoped for was some level of reasonability. I did everything I was told, yet the icing on the cake was still that awful remark. It’s these situations which show you what people are really like. I think that’s what I was most disappointed with. 

In the end though, I decided to rise above it, move on and pretend it never happened. Tomorrow was another day…

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Song Of The Month

I thought long and hard about my song of the month, especially as it was the first one of the year 🙂

I found myself reflecting from the events of this week, both at home and at work. Coming back into the work environment did expose my vulnerability quite early on. However, having confided in the right people, I was reminded that it was ok.

I have also been following clinical psychologist Jordan Peterson, based at the University of Toronto. Having recently watched some of his YouTube videos, I came across this quotation from him which I wanted to share. I think it’s one which can apply to anybody, if they choose accept it.

“To love someone is to simultaneously accept their vulnerability, as a valid part of their being. Without this, there is no possibility of individual existence.”

Though I am not a Slipknot fan nor a total Stone Sour fan, this song by Corey Taylor has to be my favourite song right now. It’s touching and beautiful- and as always, I hope you enjoy this song as much as I do 🙂

New Year’s Resolutions

This festive season was a rather variable, yet enjoyable holiday. I managed to view some pretty winter wonderland…


Views from the window…Poor Maui! 

My favourite Christmas card from this year 🙂

So as is the tradition, here is my list of New Years Resolutions. I was quite happy with achieving some of my resolutions from last year! Yet there’s always room for improvement, so here goes:

1. Stay fit-continue the weight training.

2. Sit the 2nd exam

3. Learn a language

4. Pick up a new hobby…I won’t be listing my potentials here, just because it’ll be too overwhelming!

A full moon today- and on that note I wish you all a Happy New Year!

Have A Drink On Me

Almost every weekend we see a little blue car pull up in front of the house. An elderly man comes out, followed by his dog, and they go for a walk into the park. On returning to the car, the man will stroke his dog, give him treats and then drive home again. 

I wondered what the story was behind this man. Who’s at home with him? Does he have any children? What does he do during the rest of the day? How will he spend Christmas this year? 

I actually thought of popping a Christmas card in between the windscreen of his car…

“From your friendly neighbours at number 41”

However I didn’t go through with it. Don’t really know why, maybe I just thought it was too out there. 

As I was getting ready to head out today, I saw the same man through the window. I watched him get into his car when my boyfriend said something which was probably more out there!

‘I dare you to give him a bottle of wine!’

At first I thought..what?! We don’t know anything about him and what would he think?! 

Then I thought…what do I have to lose? Just one of our spare red wine bottles, which we purchased as Christmas presents for others.

As I grabbed one of the bottles and desperately searched for the keys, I heard my boyfriend shouting out (as he was checking through the window too!) that this person had taken off…and I was a little sad.

What happened made me realise that I had some ‘guts’, (or stupidity, who knows), in running over to a stranger and almost about to give him a Christmas present. It was out of the blue (a dare after all!) and I was a bit disappointed on missing my chance. I was however happy that deep down, I learnt that I could perform such an act, when I thought I couldn’t do it before.

                    HAPPY CHRISTMAS!

Song Of The Month

Here it is! I came across this soundtrack interestingly whilst watching a Simpsons episode. I grew up with the James Bond movies my dad watched many a time. I think this song is an absolute classic and I find the introduction simply gorgeous. I hope you’ll enjoy this as much as I do…I wish I had such a voice!

Business Pleasure 

As I relax on the couch watching The Simpsons, I reflect on the past few days and more importantly, try to recuperate from the night before. I should probably begin with how the day started…

The morning wasn’t too stressful (compared to the afternoon at least). This was probably because there were no babies for baby clinic, which meant that I could catch up with my paper work. Due to the very chilly weather outside these days, I’ve now stopped opening my window like I used to, just to let some fresh air in. I thought that as my room so happens to be at the end of the corridor, I can keep my door wedged open (usually after the end of a session), while I work. A little sad maybe, but sometimes it’s kinda nice just to hear the voices of colleagues around. It can get a little lonely at times, more so when you’re not feeling so great in yourself.

It just so happened that while I was doing my work, I had the door open as usual when all of a sudden, a baby wondered into my room.

He was a gorgeous little Afro Carribean baby, probably one and half years old as a guesstimate. He walked right into the middle of the room, looked at me, gave me the biggest grin you’d ever seen… and  collapsed to the floor all comfy-like. He had no intention of getting up.

I looked at him completely stunned. I didn’t know what to do! I walked to the door and looked down the corridor, hoping I’d see his mother. It was empty. I then sat back on my chair trying to think…how do I get him back up and out, without making him cry? Not having children put me at a huge disadvantage. All I had under my belt were my baby charms, those I had picked up and started to use in day to day practice. These aren’t foolproof. 

“Where’s your mummy?!”

Was what I asked the baby…hoping to try and sweet talk him. I knew full well that he wouldn’t understand a word I was saying. He just looked at me and kept on smiling. He REALLY didn’t want to leave.

I joined him on the floor, thinking that maybe if I sat next to him, I could try and form a little kinship and win him over. His mother hadn’t come my way yet, so I realised that I’d have to lead him out instead. I held out my hand, in the hopes that he’d hold onto it…

It was a miracle! He thankfully took my hand and picked himself up from the floor. I watched him get up and was feeling really chuffed! We wondered down the corridor together, receiving many looks and laughs from patients and receptionists alike, when we saw the mother at the end of the corridor. Her frightened-looking face immediately turned into one of utter relief. I suppose it was a baby session after all! 

This encounter was definetly something I’d never experienced before. It was later followed by another event that day, and another new experience…the work-do Christmas party. 

I was really apprehensive about this. There have only been a few occasions in my training, where I’ve met with senior work colleagues outside the work place. I’ve been at this surgery for almost four months now, and this was my first time socialising with the team. I was worried that I’d make a fool of myself somehow…and I’ve done that many a time already!

Nonetheless I was grateful for the invite. I decided in the end to put all my nerves aside, let go and go with the flow. Maybe I wasn’t the only one who felt this way? 

I arrived at the hotel an hour later than advertised. This was upon the advice of some of the nurses, although after what looked like a terribly busy afternoon for me, I really didn’t want to rush things. I was dying for a cup of tea and a sit down, so that was my priority when I got home! When I got to the hotel, people from the surgery were still following in after me, so my timing was ok in the end! 

The room we were directed to was huge, filled with many round tables. Two were assigned to our surgery. It was almost like a conference, except there were disco lights and a dance floor at the front! Again, I was updated by the nurses that this was to be expected, but I hadn’t really imagined it so. 

The conversation was good. I was mainly talking to the other new trainees at the surgery, downing my glasses of wine. In the end I had three glasses, and I was feeling the effect of it. I was telling stories of how I’d met Jeremy Corbyn or my motive for eating less and exercising…stuff I’ve never really divulged to the people I work with before! 

I looked around at my other colleagues and wondered what sorts of things they were talking about. They must have known eachother for years, like 20 I think. I mean seriously a long time. To them, I’ll always be just “another trainee”, who will make an appearance in their lifetimes, later to leave and be replaced by another. It is what it is.

By about 10.30-11pm people were already leaving. I suspected it was because they had family commitments, or maybe they were exhausted, I certainly was! All of my work colleagues and seniors, including my mentor went home. In the end it was just me and another trainee, who were the last ones sitting.  I told myself that if I was going to go to the party, I would stay at least beyond midnight. That would be a proper night out for me. 

After all, how often do I get to do this? Rarely if so. When I do go out, I try and make the night memorable as best can be. It’s a night on the town, and nights out make me feel young at heart.

Pretty Little Things

Not because Christmas is less than a month away (yay!), but we decided to invest in some pretty fairy lights to decorate the landing. I think it makes the entrance more warm-looking, especially when entering the house from the now very chilly outdoors!

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